Your eyes are big. Your voice is deep. You have “four eyes” and acne. You aren’t beautiful. What will anyone see in you? You’re a smarty pants… a nerd. Who would want to be your friend?
My peers teased me. At a young age I viewed myself negatively based on the opinions of others. They singled me out… picked on me, and I didn’t understand why.
During my teenage years, I caved to peer pressure. I tried to fit in with those around me. I accepted my reality of being teased so I tried to be like others. I wanted to fit in so I hid my true identity. I laughed at things that weren’t funny and hung out in places I shouldn’t have been. There were times I wasn’t honest with my mom. This experience changed me. Deep within I always felt different. Even though I wanted to remain hidden, there was something within me calling me deeper. Although some things seemed to work in my favor by fitting in, I always felt singled out, lonely and I didn’t understand why.
During my young adult years, I believed in God but our relationship wasn’t as strong as it could’ve been. I went to church every Sunday but couldn’t hear his voice. I didn’t follow his lead. Despite the many blessings, the feeling of loneliness grew more intense. There were days that I would cry and I had many sleepless nights. I wrestled with insecurities, depression, and the spirit of comparison. I continuously made poor decisions.
Deep within I felt a tug at my heart, there was something tugging on my spirit. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I knew that I needed to change. I wrote and prayed; this allowed me to talk to God and be still hear His voice. I surrendered to him to gain understanding on why I was experiencing these trials and struggles. Eventually I began to tithe correctly and I started to lean on those who were beneficial to my life.
God finally explained why I had been singled out...
God said “You weren't created to fit in. You felt alone because you weren’t in acceptance of who I created you to be. You masked your true self to belong with those of the world, but in actuality you belong to me. I know the plans that I have for your life… on me you should depend. I couldn’t let that friendship work out because it would have caused destruction. I couldn’t let that relationship last because you would have never found your way back. If I had let you be like everyone else, you wouldn’t be able to execute the vision I have for you. There are great things in your future. Blessings will rain down in your life and you will overflow in abundance. How can you lead if you're still following the pack?”
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Roman 12:2 NIV
To be all that God has called you to be, you must embrace who you are. You are special! You were picked on, left behind, and lonely to understand where your help comes from. You had to experience those trials to gain strength and wisdom. You had to fall so you could learn and grow. Nothing happened by accident, it was all for a reason. You being singled out was all a part of the plan.
You may not feel like it, but he has qualified you for what you feel you are incapable of accomplishing. God qualifies the unqualified. You being singled out is a part of the plan!
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